Rebuilding Trust With Your Child

If your child has been going through a period of behavioral, emotional, or social struggles, it’s common for these struggles to extend to familial relationships. What were once close, trusting relationships may have turned into broken connections and distrustful attitudes from both sides. Because trust can take years to build but only moments to break, it’s crucial to learn how to rebuild trust with your child so you can build and maintain strong, loving relationships.

How parents can rebuild trust with their teens and build a better relationship

There are many strategies and techniques you can use to help communicate with your child to regain trust in the relationship. When your teen has done something to break your trust, your role is both forgiver and teacher. You have to forgive him to allow the healing to start and you need to use the breach of trust as a teachable moment going forward.

Start by calmly explaining why you are not happy with what your child has done, and that even though their act was untrustworthy, you still believe them to be a trustworthy human being. The teenage brain is impulsive and is not always capable of thinking through the consequences of its actions, so keep the scope of a teen’s understanding in check when you are confronting them about a poor decision.

After you’ve discussed your disappointment and reasoning, allow them to be a part of the conversation by asking them what they think they can do to earn your trust back. This enables your teen to have some say in how the conversation will go rather than just being lectured at. Your teen can also be involved in setting the consequences for their actions. Ask them what they think a fair punishment would be, and ultimately set a reasonable punishment that fits the breach of trust.

Once you’ve dealt with the specific incident that broke the trust, help your teen build a path to fully earning your trust back that specifically aligns with the misdeed. For example, if your teen took your car without asking, forcing them to do all the dishes for three months won’t show you that they are trustworthy with the car. Instead, give them shorter test runs with reasonable parameters like allowing them to borrow the car for an hour and seeing how successful they can be within these parameters. Gradually, you can increase the parameters until you are at the level of trust you were before the incident.

Even after some or all of the trust has been earned back, continue to keep a positive dialogue going. Even if your child doesn’t seem like they want to talk to you, spending quality positive time together, just being together, not lecturing, will help strengthen your relationship and trust.

blueFire can help families rebuild relationships

BlueFire Wilderness is a leading therapeutic wilderness program that combines the best of individualized clinical work, family therapy, adventure activities, and equine therapy to help adolescents make lasting changes. We specialize in treating teens and young adults that are struggling with emotional, social, and behavioral challenges.

Our programming includes family workshops where parents get a chance to see first-hand the behavioral changes in their child as they prepare for the transition back home. These workshops help families learn about the program, repair relationships, and gain a better understanding of therapeutic processing as a unit. For more information, please call (844) 413-1999.

Related posts:

  1. All in the Family: Benefits of Family Therapy
  2. Family Therapy Helps Parents Understand and Rebuild
  3. Group Therapy for Teens Promotes Positive Peer Relationships
  4. Simple Steps to Improving Parent-Teen Communication
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Kathy Rex

As long as I can remember the outdoors has been a place that fills my soul with happiness, clarity, peace, inspiration, and connections. Connecting with Mother Nature is powerful and never disappoints, even when hardships are a part of that process. Sitting peacefully in any outdoor setting witnessing even the slightest hint of survival (think of that lone flower that grows out of a rock in the middle of a desert) is my life source and reminds me how precious and our lives are, and how resilient we can be. Having shared experiences with others in the outdoors brings me such joy! My introduction to Wilderness Therapy came at a time when I, myself, was at a crossroads in life. Being witness to the reunification of children with their parents after being apart for several weeks was hands down the most miraculous thing I had ever witnessed. Weeks later, after packing my car with all my belongings, and my then 2 year old son, we ventured out to the deserts of southcentral Idaho to embark on a journey that I have never looked back from. The power and value of that parent-child connection has always been at the core of what has driven me in my home and in my work. My children and grandchildren are pretty remarkable too. What I learned early on, and continue to learn, is that change is hard…..and necessary. We have to be able to be honest with ourselves, listen to others, communicate effectively, and continually make decisions which are based on the best information available to us at the time. One cannot hide from themselves for long when they learn to sit still, observe, and then take action. Trust, Reliance, Vulnerability, Humility, Sacrifice, Acceptance, Confidence, Honesty, etc. The list goes on and on as far as what one is capable of experiencing in a wilderness setting. Since 1989 I have had many wonderful opportunities to be able to guide young people on their own journeys while enjoying the outdoors. Seeing the joy and eye-popping realization of one’s own value and capabilities is what drives me to stay involved in the work I do on a daily basis. Families embarking on this journey together is miraculous and inspiring. SouthCentral Idaho provides the perfect landscape for this amazing opportunity. Wilderness Therapy is my calling.