Parenting a Teen: The ‘Good Enough’ Technique

In a recent Psychology Today article, Don Greif, Ph.D., wrote about the struggles behind parenting a teen and the obsession with being the “best” parent. In our society, there’s a large emphasis on being the “best” in everything–whether that’s parenting a teen or playing sports. This emphasis often leads to an obsession over becoming the “best,” leading to someone not actually reaching their full potential in that area. Sometimes becoming the “best” requires obsession, but parenting a teen or child, Greif says, isn’t one of those situations.

Parenting a teen with the ‘good enough’ technique

Greif introduces an idea first proposed by Donald Winnicott, a British pediatrician and psychoanalyst. It’s the concept of the “good enough mother.” Winnicott urged that mothers and fathers should–instead of obsessing or worrying about being perfect–trust their own judgment and instincts on how to parent a child.
Greif points out that the “best” often isn’t necessarily the “best” for a child’s specific needs. By striving to reach the “best” school, parents often choose schools that are about status or external looks instead of actual substance.

It’s not that black and white

Parenting a teen or child is rarely clean cut. There are grey areas and tons of compromises included. Because of this, the “best” school or the “best” program or the “best” whatever is rarely the actual “best” for your child.
Maybe your child loves art, but the school considered the “best” doesn’t actually have that great of an art program–is it still the “best” for your child? Parenting a teen is all relative to your own individual child’s needs and personality. Trusting yourself to parent your teen and know when to reach out for further guidance is what makes a good parent–not the “best” school.

blueFire Wilderness can help

blueFire Wilderness is a wilderness therapy program for struggling teens, ages 11 to 17. Our students often grapple with anxiety, depression, and other emotional or behavioral problems. At blueFire, we strive to help each client succeed.
For more information about blueFire Wilderness, please call 1 (844) 413-1999 today!

Related posts:

  1. Family Therapy Helps Parents Understand and Rebuild
  2. Parenting Styles: The Risks of Being the ‘Cool’ Parent
  3. Finding a Balance: Eight Things Your Struggling Teen Will Thank You for in the Future
  4. Three Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries for Teens
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Kathy Rex

As long as I can remember the outdoors has been a place that fills my soul with happiness, clarity, peace, inspiration, and connections. Connecting with Mother Nature is powerful and never disappoints, even when hardships are a part of that process. Sitting peacefully in any outdoor setting witnessing even the slightest hint of survival (think of that lone flower that grows out of a rock in the middle of a desert) is my life source and reminds me how precious and our lives are, and how resilient we can be. Having shared experiences with others in the outdoors brings me such joy! My introduction to Wilderness Therapy came at a time when I, myself, was at a crossroads in life. Being witness to the reunification of children with their parents after being apart for several weeks was hands down the most miraculous thing I had ever witnessed. Weeks later, after packing my car with all my belongings, and my then 2 year old son, we ventured out to the deserts of southcentral Idaho to embark on a journey that I have never looked back from. The power and value of that parent-child connection has always been at the core of what has driven me in my home and in my work. My children and grandchildren are pretty remarkable too. What I learned early on, and continue to learn, is that change is hard…..and necessary. We have to be able to be honest with ourselves, listen to others, communicate effectively, and continually make decisions which are based on the best information available to us at the time. One cannot hide from themselves for long when they learn to sit still, observe, and then take action. Trust, Reliance, Vulnerability, Humility, Sacrifice, Acceptance, Confidence, Honesty, etc. The list goes on and on as far as what one is capable of experiencing in a wilderness setting. Since 1989 I have had many wonderful opportunities to be able to guide young people on their own journeys while enjoying the outdoors. Seeing the joy and eye-popping realization of one’s own value and capabilities is what drives me to stay involved in the work I do on a daily basis. Families embarking on this journey together is miraculous and inspiring. SouthCentral Idaho provides the perfect landscape for this amazing opportunity. Wilderness Therapy is my calling.